In the town of Escondido,
There lived a mosquito named Guido.
He had a wingspan,
As wide as my hand,
And his last name was Esposito.
His brother-cousin Alfredo,
Came from outside Laredo.
He had no fear
When females were near
He was nicknamed the Texas Tornado.
Alfredo and Guido the mosquitoes,
Had fairly large libidos.
They could be found,
Poolsides in their speedos.
In the evenings they wore white tuxedos,
Went to clubs and played blackjack and keno.
Though often annoying,
Folks couldn't help enjoying,
These social misfits and pal gringos.
All of the female mosquitos,
Made fun of the Espositos,
As they walked around,
Like a couple of clowns,
In their speedos and white tuxedos.
One day Alfredo and Guido,
Decided to go to Reno.
They hitched a ride,
By flying inside,
A '69 Gran Torino.
Little did either mosquito,
Know the driver was Tito the bandito.
He was heading,
To crash a wedding,
Then rob The Pink Flamingo.
When his plan became clear to Guido,
He asked his friend "What can we do?"
Stay low and hide,
It's better the less that we know.
Well that didn't sit well with Guido,
So he decided to confront the bandito.
He thought maybe then,
The plot would end,
It was all he could think of to do.
Well Tito had a bag of Doritos,
Sitting on the seat of his Torino.
When he looked aside,
Guido climbed inside,
And perched himself on a frito.
When Tito reached in for a Dorito,
He pulled out the frito with Guido.
He up and ate,
Poor old Guido the mosquito.
Now Tito loved burritos,
Cheetos and all kinds of Fritos,
But what he just had,
Tasted real bad,Of course he'd never eaten a mosquito.
He instinctively spit out 'ole Guido,
And saw it was a large mosquito.
To his surprise,
It looked still alive,
And its body spelled "Don't go to Reno"
Well this totally freaked out Tito,
And he missed his turn to Reno.
You should have seen,
How his face turned green,
Then he noticed old Guido's libido.
He flicked the mangled mosquito.
Into the back of the Gran Torino.
Then changed his plan,
As he wiped his hand,
And decided to head to Toledo.
Well Alfredo flew down to poor Guido,
And asked if there was anything he could do?
Then quietly died,
On the floor of the Gran Torino.
Alfredo flew out the window.
And made his way to Reno.
There he reminisced,
About the bravery missed,
Of his cousin and unsung hero.
How Guido Esposito,
The mosquito from Escondido,
Saved the Flamingo,
From Tito the gringo,
By pretending to be a Dorito.
So if you ever see a mosquito,
In a speedo with a large libido.
He just might be,
From the same family tree,
As Alfredo and Guido Esposito.
Copyright © July 2010